Madlibby’s Weblog

dear CEO of _______,

i want to let you in on a little secret.  there are a lot of people around here running up and down the halls, printing documents, filling coffee mugs with free soda and drinking those bottles of water (i have had 3 so far today).  these people, your employees, look very busy and i suppose some of them are, but the rest of us have NOTHING to do and we would like to go home.  its nice outside and i would like to sit out by the pool maybe read a book or a trashy magazine. 

sure, i’ll check my email and if you need me to respond i can even do that, but please just let me go home.  the pattern on my back of my legs from the chair i have been sitting on is taking longer and longer to fade each day and i actually think im getting stupider (yes, i just said stupider…see?).

thank you for your kind consideration of this memo.

cheers,

libby

there is a girl (nameless) with an ex boyfriend who actually compared himself to Peter Pan.  no, i don’t believe she is/was dating Michael Jackson.  but he said that he has issues with dating her because he never wants to grow up.  yeah.  creepy.

so here is the deal…NO ONE WANTS TO GROW UP!  despite the fact that in junior high i was awkward and angry, there are still days when i wake up and think it might be fun to have a seventh grade re-do.

this is a short list of reasons growing up is sad:

• we don’t get to hang out with captain hook and tigerlilly (ok…sorry, i had to)
• work is not exciting 82.7% of the time (or more depending on the quality of gossip in your office)
• you have to pay bills BEFORE purchasing shoes
• you are not as hilariously insane as you used to be
• peeing your pants is NOT ok
• your back hurts
• you get wrinkles, old people zits AND hangovers
• less naps

additions…?

have you heard of a hat trick?  it’s a hockey term (and i don’t know anything about hockey–or most sports really) that refers to a player on a team scoring three goals in one game.  there is some back-and-forth about hat trick-specifics on wikipedia (go figure). 

when i was in high school there was also a computer game that i used to play at this guy ryan’s house where we had to steal cars and get with hookers.  if you got three in one night it was a hat trick.

my friend L is working on a hat trick and i am shopping for a trophy.  if she hooks up with three male roommates she gets a reward (and im not talking about the clap).

the rules of the L hat trick game are simple:

• the three roommates must NOT know they are pawns in the hat trick
• roommates must not know that L has hooked up with any of the others
• making out constitutes hooking up (L might not have morals, but she is no tramp)
• the hat trick must occur within 1 month of today

and…go!